Het Up About Fett

They're making a Boba Fett spin-off film. If you don't know, Fett was a minor character in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi* who has about 7 minutes total screen time. He flies around using a jetpack. A jetpack. You know, the thing that was a punchline in Kick Ass. Weirdly, a cult has developed around this character, seemingly due to the fact that he was the coolest Star Wars action figure in the 80s. The result is he is now getting a presumably expensive spin off film helmed by Walk the Line director James Mangold.

Anyway, if Fett can get a $150m movie, I'm going to start pushing for my Turkle spin off. You know, Turkle. Turkle? Tell me you know who Turkle is…? Scatman Crothers’ character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?! The night watch guy who lets Jack Nicholson invite his girlfriends into the mental hospital for a party? He's in it for about 10 minutes, but what an impression he makes. If given his own 140 minute tentpole blockbuster, we could see how he became a night watchmen, where he got his love of young women from, his early struggles to hold down a job... Michael K Williams can play him.

Oh, it'd be great. Sign my petition here.

(Technically, a Chief Bromden spin off makes more sense, but the Turkle action figure was cooler – it could cry little water droplets and lament having lost his night watchmen job)

*Yes, I know he's in Attack of the Clones too, but at this point who cares?